Nothing here makes any sense: Eggplant Enchiladas

What follows is an actual transcript of a conversation I had this afternoon:

shiv: zomg
my brain
bench: is it gone?
shiv: wurble
bench: shall I pull out your spare from the freezer?
shiv: murngh
bench: I’ll take that as a yes
shiv: spnikgg
bench: I realize that’s a side effect, but consider the consequences if we don’t!
shiv: rejkkk?
bench: well, if one dethaws their spare brain in less than the allotted time the law requires, as you proposed, we must consider the outcome… both negative and positive
shiv: tweerxx!!
bench: exactly
glad we are inthe same page



As you may have gathered from the above exchange, today was kind of  a long day. Which is why I hope you’ll understand when I cut to the chase on this: Eggplant Enchiladas! They’re delicious! I devised them when I was still in college, and just getting my sea legs in the kitchen. I was, weirdly, kind of fearless–despite the fact that I didn’t know my ass from my elbow, my inexperience meant that I had no reservations about combining flavors and bashing together different cuisines. In this case, this experimentation resulted in a Mexican-Mediterranean mashup of goat’s cheese, cilantro, and vegetables that–if we’re being honest–sounds like it should be kind of disgusting. But, I assure you, it’s not! The smooth piquancy of the chevre goes nicely with the silkiness of the eggplant, and the balsamic vinegar gets all syrupy and sweet, making it an excellent foil to the salsa piled on top. Against all odds, this business is flat-out delicious. And there’s no way in hell I would have stumbled across such a combination now, now that I am theoretically a better cook; it would not occur to me to try something so disparate, so terrifying. Score one for the folly of youth!


And it’s taken me 45 minutes to write that last paragraph, so i’m going to leave you with this: These enchiladas are delicious. They are easy and full of vitamins. They are a testament to the power of experimentation. And stoners LOVE them (or, at least, they did in 1999). Which is neither here nor there.

Um. Right.


Eggplant Enchiladas

1 medium-sized eggplant, cut into cubes
1 red onion, diced
2 medium-sized bell peppers (red, orange, yellow), diced or slivered
4 or 5 cloves garlic, minced
½ lb mushrooms, sliced
1 cup crumbled goat’s cheese

olive oil
garlic salt
2 tbsp chopped cilantro
balsamic vinegar
salsa (for the top)

  1. heat oil in wok or deep skillet; sauté onions until soft.
  2. Add eggplant, cook about 5 mins or until it starts to get soft
  3. Add garlic, cook about 3min
  4. Add peppers, cook about 5 min
  5. Add mushrooms
  6. Keep cooking and stirring until all is nice and soft and tasty. Add some balsamic vinegar and keep cooking until it gets all syrupy and delicious.
  7. Remove from heat. Let cool a minute or two. Add cheese and mix thoroughly.
  8. Moisten tortillas slightly; fill with ¼-1/3c filling; roll up and place in a baking dish.
  9. Cover enchiladas with salsa (however much interests you)
  10. Bake at 250F for about 15 minutes, or until slightly golden
  11. Remove from oven; sprinkle with a little grated cheese. Garnish at will.
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